My thoughts in this direction started with this link- child’s skull from facebook.
So Maximus is being crazy- as per my last post- and this is probably a contributor to the oddness. He lost two teeth recently, and I can picture the inside of his face looking just like that link! So many unseen things happening in my little boy. ❤
I have often thought about the ‘hidden’ illnesses, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, ADD, depression, bipolar disorder, celiac disease, allergies, etc. I have dealt with depression and ADD my whole life. I often wondered if people would be a little more understanding if my ADD caused huge red flaky patches on my face, like my psoriasis does on the rest of my body. Would they perhaps be slightly less critical?
SO It wasn’t a huge leap to think, wow- if all five year olds or six year olds’ faces looked like that face does on the outside- might we be a little more… lenient? And- before someone even asks- I know some will say that’s exactly whats wrong with our society, yadayadayada. Hm. maybe there’s a bit of it. But maybe its more likely that Christians especially tend to HIDE their troubles from each other. Maybe we tend to take a ‘soldier on at all costs’ mentality. That’s enough for another post, truly…
I’ve talked a lot about finding reasons behind a child’s behavior. No matter what we may feel about what they have done, ‘they’ve defied me!!’, ‘He should KNOW better’ etc. the only objective evidence to their behavior is what physical/emotional state are they in, and what can I hold them accountable for?
If you hold that children are fully knowledgeable selfish purposeful manipulators that must be stopped at all costs- then you won’t care about this.
I care. If my kid’s face is doing that, I will take that into account. That is why the focus in Grace Based Discipline is on HELP. I will assume- assign positive intent- that he is not complying because he is not able to, in some way. I will help him do it, becsue it must be done. In this way I can teach him what to do to help himself through whatever he is feeling, thinking, experiencing so he can succeed next time.
The other option is to punish- sometimes painfully- for failure- a failure that the child possibly could not have prevented, or possibly on that with a little help he could have prevented.
I’m posting in a hurry, so forgive any errors, please. Just a few thoughts to chew over today.